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Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border.
The Italian Customs Officer stops them and tells them:
"It'sa illegala to putta 5 people In a Quattro."
"Vot do you mean it's illegal?" asks the German driver.
"Quattro meansa four" replies the Italian official.
"Quattro is just ze name of de fokken automobile" the Germans
say unbelievingly. "Look at de dam papers: de car is designed
to karry funf Persons."
"You canta pulla thata one on me!" replies the Italian customs
officer.
"Quattro meansa four. You have five-a people ina your car and you
are thereforea breaking da law."
The German driver replies angrily, "You idiot! Call your supervisor
over. I vant to speak to somevone vid more Intelligence!"
"Sorry" responds the Italian officer, "He can'ta come. He'sa busy
witta 2 Guys in a Fiat Uno."
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The one was a man from spain,
Who tied his penis to a train.
The train went fast,
It burned his ass and he never did it again.
če preberete nahitro postane dokaj zanimivo :D
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Men tud ni jasn 
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In Apple store
Buyer: Hey, how much does that mac costs?
Seller: $1500
Buyer: So it must have a nVidia GTX480 and like 16GB of RAM right?
Seller: No, onboard graphics and 4GB of RAM
Buyer: So why is it so much?
Seller: The keyboard is nice ...
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A Mac user found a magic lamp with a Genie in it. The Genie said he wasn't as powerfull as other Genies and could only grant one wish. So the Mac User brought out a map of the Middle-East and asked the Genie if he could bring peace to the people there.
The Genie said "Ah, you see, its hard to do that. Those people have been fighting for years. Its a religion thing, and about territory. Why as soon as they are teenagers, they go to war. Pick something else."
So the Mac User said, "Ok, make MacOS 8.0 a pre-emptive multitasking system, that is crash-proof and stable, has support for multiple processors, and still has 100% compatibility with all the current MacOS apps."
So the Genie shook his head and said, "Ah let me take a look at those maps again..."
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Jaz sem moja luna (prevedi v angleščino!)
I'm my moon.
Sedaj pa to še nahitro preberite.
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The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.
Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by " v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst place....
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There were 4 chinese friends,Cu,Mu,Su and Fu.They went to America and they attached -ch to their names,so their names sounded more american.Chuck and Muck went to L.A.,but Su and Fu rather stayed in China.
ta me zmeri tok nasmeji 
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